2016 was a weird year for me, and if I'm being honest, so far 2017 isn't any less weird. Last year, I left something very familiar to go try something new and different. Exciting. Scary. Sad. Intimidating. All of the above.
I took a chance on myself and decided to change jobs. Big woop. People change jobs every day. So why is this significant? It's probably not. It was basically a lateral move. There was no press release. I'm not a C Suite executive at Google. I get it. It's not all that exciting, but it is relevant. I have a point, I promise.
Leaving that job has been so difficult for me. To this day I am still a bit emotionally attached to it. I met the most incredible people and made some of my favorite memories - and some of my biggest mistakes. But we'll just call them "learning experiences". It taught me what to do, what not to do, how to handle tough situations gracefully and somehow manage to make good things come out of them. My boss was a magician at this. I still don't know how she did it. And I learned more in my time there than one could ever learn in school. Stay in school, kids.
I decided to say "yes" to a new opportunity that took me totally out of my comfort zone. It took me away from strong professional relationships, friendships, a familiar workflow, and a position at the company where I worked for years to be hired.
Change is awkward. It gets messy. And stressful. It can be ridden with anxiety and pain. Leaving a job can feel more like a break up and that is one of the most confusing feelings. I know, I know. There are no feelings in business. Except there are because we aren't all robots.
But there's something so beautiful and so rewarding about paving your own way. Saying "Yes!". Taking that chance. Going out on a limb for yourself. Sometimes in the most awkward, confusing, and most disappointing of circumstances you find something you never knew was missing. You learn something you never knew you needed to know. Sometimes you figure out that finding out what you don't want is just as important and is absolutely crucial to finding out what you do want. And you begin paving a new path, writing a new story, and dreaming a new dream.
Sometimes, when you go out on a limb, that limb breaks. And you can either fall all the way to the bottom and lay there, or you can sink your teeth into the tree trunk and pull yourself back up.
The hardest times are when the change is not your decision, and is completely out of your hands. That's when that big, scary, intimidating, and so absolutely out of nowhere change becomes a gift. I have been given the gift of time and of freedom. I have been blessed with the gift of a blog that I LOVE and have literally poured my soul into it. I have been given the gift of new friendships through collaborations. I have been given the gifts of self-confidence and of strength. These precious gifts however, have come from a very not Pinterest-worthy place. They came from months of reflection, regret, of questioning my self-worth and my value. I have questioned my experience and my abilities knowing full and well what I am capable of. I have ugly cried and messed up my pretty make up more times than I can count. And you know I don't like to waste my mascara...shits expensive.
Answering to yourself is always the most difficult. We are all our own worst enemies. We pick at, stab and beat ourselves up over not knowing the answer. Over not being able to see the clear path. Or taking a chance knowing that hindsight is 20/20.
But if I've learned anything over the last two very weird years it's that you absolutely cannot beat yourself up. You cannot be your worst enemy. You have to cheer for team "YOU", because if you don't, who will? And you especially cannot beat yourself up over things that you absolutely cannot change. The world is full of enough people who are going to knock you down, or break the limb you just stepped out on - you don't need to be one of them.
Pick yourself up. Dust yourself off. And start all over again.
Fear Less. Live Yes.
When I was in middle school going into high school, I had the choice between going to the school where all of my friends were going or going to a school a little closer to home where none of my friends were going. The choice was obvious. Of course I'd go to the school with all my friends! Who wouldn't?!?
And so off I went to the high school where I knew literally no one. YAY.
I made friends, don't worry. I'm not some weirdo, I promise. Although, some people from high school would probably challenge that statement. But I never looked back. And then, I decided to go to college 5 hours away from home, where once again, I knew literally no one.
I graduated. Got a job at my dream company. Then I left. And now were here.
Last year, I decided to change jobs. Big woop. People change jobs every day. So why is this significant? It's probably not. It was basically a lateral move. There was no press release. I'm not a C-Level executive at Google. I get it. It's not all that exciting, but it is relevant. I have a point, I promise.
This last year has been a bit of a fuster-cluck for lack of a better term. Actually, I just really wanted to use the term "fuster-cluck" in a legitimate sentence.
When I started this blog, I didn't plan on getting super personal, ya know? I just wanted to focus on the fun stuff - the outfits, the photo shoots, the instagram filter, etc. However, I recently partnered with my friends Katelyn and Rachel at Live Yes Blog and now, I am forced to dive a little deeper in to myself and share it with you. So here we go